Insomnia

Bago ako matulog, naka set na ang alarm ng cellphone ko sa 7:30 am. Ang sarap sanang matulog ng maaga sa kwartong malamig at madilim, ngunit di ko ito nagagawa. Alas dos y'medya na kung ako ay matulog dahil sa napakaraming bagay.

1. From school, natutulog ako (5:30-7:00 minsan 7:00-8:30) kaya nawawala ang pagod ko sa katawan nakakapag pahimbing sa aking tulog.

2. While watching TV or while smoking, umiinom ako ng kape at nakakaubos ako ng 2-3 cups every night.
(Ewan addict na siguro ako)

3. Ang liit ng electric fan sa kwarto namin. apat pa kami sa kwarto na naghahati sa kakarampot ng hanging binubuga ng electricfan.

4. Nangangati talaga ang paa ko kapag hindi nakakalabas pag gabi. minsan, narerealize ko na gusto kung lumabas kung patay na ang ilaw sa kwarto.

5. Tama ba namang nag fifilm viewing ang mga roommates ko with out using any headphones para di na sila makapang bulahaw sa mga kasama nila sa kwarto. Ayaw ko namang manuod kasi Naruto naman ang pinapanood nila, buti sana kung porn.

6. Most of the time, di ko nararamdaman na nasa loob ako ng kwarto ko sa bandang ala una ng madaling araw. Feeling ko, nasa durian bar ako kung saan sikat ang mga scream-O bands dito sa davao. Grabe ang hilik ng room mate ko na adjacent sa bed ko. Ang kabilang kwarto naman na plywood lang ang pagitan, tila nag kokonsert sa lakas drum rolls ng kanyang hilik.

7. Recently, umandar ang asthma ng isa kung roommate, meron kaming nebulizer sa loob ng kwarto. Naawa ako sa kanya ngunit later on, naconvert ang aking awa sa inis. Ang sama kasi pakinggan ng pag hinga niya. parang may laway na nakabara sa ilong at lalamunan. grrr..........

8. Kapag gusto ko nang matulog, lumalabas na ang mga crazy ideas ko. mga imaginations na dapit lumalabas pag nagboblog ako. grabeh ang pag function ng utak ko pag gusto nang magpahinga ng mata ko.

9. Minsan, sa tuwing nakapikit na ako, meron akong naririnig na ewan ko ba kong ano. pero alam ko tiyan ko yon. nagugutom ko pag gabi. lalabas nanaman ako para bumili ng pagkain.

10. Di ako makatulog sa kaiisip ng mga bagay na gusto kong mapanaghinipan, mga bagay na sa tingin ko ay sa panaghinip ko lang makakamtan. Frustrated ako na mapanag hinipan ang mga bagay na yun. Naisip ko tuloy na kaya siguro ako nahuhuli sa klase dahil ayaw ko nang gumising. Dahil tuwing umaga, pare-pareho lang naman ang nangyayari. ayaw ko na, aywa ko nang magising...

Number 2

It took 4 months for me to recover after the relationship that I had. I was very young when I had my serious relationship which was my first and last as of this time.

I can see butterflies every time we're together. I loved that person fully but i later on realized that i wasn't giving my everything because I still have lies to protect my privacy.

From the beginning, I already new that it won't workout because someone came first before me.

I accepted that I can't compete with my loved one's spouse.

Yes, I used to be the "third party".

Despite the circumstances that we encountered, we stood still and acted as if superman against the villains.

There are no concrete villains, it was our personal issues that hinder us from living happily.



We were dating that time when my partner's phone rang and and hurriedly answered. The call was no big deal to me. I'm understanding when it come work and family.

"Got to go! my son, needs a parent in his school's PTCA meeting"

I was so down when i heard that, I was speechless for a moment until I uttered "Go, your son needs you"



After that incident, i realized that I can't stay as number 2 forever. I need to let go.

I don't want to give choices that will hurt me, instead, it will be better if I'm the one who will give the answer even if it hurts...

SAWALIHGIKAP

Kung Budlay ang kinabuhi tungod sa gugma, dili gugma imong gikinahanglan.

Kung budlay ang barkadahay tungod sa kwarta, di kwarta ang kinahanglan.

Kung budlay ang mag inusara sa pag pamalandong, dili pamalandong ang kinahanglan.

PAKIGHILAWAS

Apan kung budlay ang pakig hilawas tungod sa gugma,

ayaw na huna-hunaa


Apan kung budlay ang pakighilawas tungod imo kining barkada,

ayaw huna hunaa


Apan kung budlay ang pakig hilawas sa imong kaugalingong kamot.

Pag hikog.

Marlboro Black

Me: Bakit di na Marlboro Black ang yosi mo? Akala ko ba naadik ka na doon sa black?

Mandaya: Sumasakit kasi ang ulo ko doon sa black eh.

Me: (getting a pack of Marlboro black from my pocket)

Mandaya: Pahingi!!!

Me: Akala ko ba sumasakit ang ulo mo sa black?

Manadaya: (Puffing the cigarette)

Why Bengan Fans' club?

I was in my 1st year college when my teacher in Humanities 2 asked us to make a blog so that he could check

if our writing skills is improving. Since I am a delinquent student (going to school late, not making

assignments etc.), i went inside the classroom not remembering that on that day is our deadline to submit our

URL. I sat on the extreme left at the back. He asked one by one for our URL. I can't give any. So I rush to

the computer room and crammed in registering for a blog. All URL that i can think has been used already,

so i thought of something stupid, something that could feed the ego of my teacher. I used his last name and

inserted a fans' club after it. and thats it!

Now, he is leaving our school... Bye Mr. Bengan

To Come out is to come in

Weeks ago, I had an invitation to play badminton with friends whom i just met in a night out. They asked me

if i play badminton and i said "yes". Then, my escapades started. In my first night of playing with my

badminton buddies, its already as ecstatic as coming out. After playing, Fritz, the one who drove the car said

that we will passed by his friends eatery to have some beer and flirt with the locals. after 2 bottles,

someone donated another 2 bottles and after 2 bottles, I donated 2 bottles, and many more bottles followed.

We were not yet drunk when everyone started to dance the "budots-budots" dance (a dance distinct in

davao, mostly by the juveniles). after learning some steps, someone turned of the lights off, our only source

of light is the light from the lamp post outside. While its dark, the guy wearing a jacket and a short pants

stood up and danced while slowly stripping his clothes. i was in the midst of shock and excitement. I cant

help my self by cheer as well as the others. He stripped everything until the only covering he has is a

motorcycle helmet. I was so happy! hahaha, definitely happy.

I realized that the first step to come out is self acceptance...

Deja vu

After many people risked their lives to destroy the dictatorship, here we are again. We are faced with another trials by which was static for 20 years. When Sen. Noynoy Aquino, the son of the late Pres. Corazon Aquino was was interviewed whether he will run as president for the 2010 elections. He said that he will not let another dictator rule. He added that the Aquino's are always the sweeper of dictators in the country and he won't let it happen again.
As our beloved late President Cory Aquino departed from heaven may the spirit of democracy remain in our country. We should not let another hunter to put put us in the cage while we are waiting to be eaten alive. As what President Cory said, LABAN!!!
May the death of President Cory be an Eye opener, a cold water or a slap after a long sleep.